Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Can Guys and Girls REALLY be JUST friends?

I recently just watched "When Harry met Sally". Why in the world had I never seen this fabulous flick before?! Such a great New Year's movie..really warmed the heart, ya know? I posted a short clip from it that brought up a question that I had never really thought seriously about before? Can a guy and a girl really be just good friends? Or...does one of them always want to bone the other?

In the movie, Harry raises a few key points that got me really thinking about this topic. Harry says that "no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her". I don't think that this is always true. Even if you want (or have thought breifly) about having sex with one of your guy/girl friends....it doesn't mean that you can't still have a long lasting friendship...

Most of my closest friends are guys and I am (clearly) a girl. Even though I may find (most) of my guy friends attractive, this does not mean that I would just go around boning them all! That would be a bit absurd. I can name lots of my guy friends that I might find attractive that wouldn't necessarily find me attractive (and vice versa)...just because we are attracted to one another doesn't mean that we can't be friends. I am a firm believer in that your thoughts are your thoughts until they are said aloud. As long as you keep that dirty little thought to yourself, then the other person will never even know that you have even breifly thought about boning them. You can still have an open, long lasting friendship and not have (or think about having) sex. There would be no reason for this to get in the way unless the people involved had virtually no self control what-so-ever. It's when you actually say out loud that you want to fuck your friend that you run into conflicts.

After some mild arguing, Harry then goes on to say that a guy and a girl can't be just friends because "the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story". End of story, Harry?! Really?? I don't think so. Sex can ruin friendships...it's ruined a few of mine....but it doesn't have to ruin every friendship.

Bottom line: just because a guy and a girl find eachother attractive, does not mean that they're going to bone...or that they even want to. Sometimes, a friendship is more important than a sexual attraction.

What do you guys think? Are you really just friends with your guy/girl friends? Or do you just want to bone them?

If any of you (my lovely 1 reader...) haven't seen this fine movie, then I suggest tracking it down. It's fantastic. Oh...and if you tell anyone that I love Love LOVE sappy romantic comedies...I'll hunt you down myself.


Ebben Wiley said...

interesting question you pose here... im going to go with the "so long as it goes unsaid, all is good" theory. yeah, it sucks for the party that does actually have stronger feelings for the other party, but as long as they never verbalize it, then the friendship will remain in tact.

and i dont think that someone has to be "attractive" to be attractive... its the side of a person you get to know as a friend that i think even peeks the interest, you know? or at least that's been my experience.

Bird said...

I completely agree with you!

People's personalities are what makes them attractive. I can find somebody mildly attractive, but if our personalities mesh I find them much more appealing.


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